A friend of mine passed away a while ago, having been battling a resurgence of cancer I was unaware of, and it impacted me because he and I had been corresponding about the value of Life, questions of mortality. He didn’t speak a word about his situation. He spoke a lot about mine.

Maybe it was a distraction for him. We weren’t close; a few times on a trip I had made, but we had become close in our own way. Sharing thoughts on mortality is a different sort of intimacy, but when people speak honestly – as we did – it is an intimacy. It’s subject is taboo. We’re all supposed to do anything to stay alive according to whoever started that tradition.

He did. He had a lot to live for and it showed in his battles with his health – a giant of a man physically and mentally and emotionally. All the while, we spoke about mortality, life, and a few other interests.

I need to get back to writing, but playing back those conversations in my head, rethought with his own situation as it must have happened, adds a depth to what he was saying that I didn’t understand then.

So I’m doing that, because the best thing you can do for a noteworthy person is revisit things that you shared with a new understanding of their perspective.