Gods are fun to think about when you’re not beholden to any, so if I step on any toes here I apologize in advance.

I haven’t quite figured out a good name for the God of Technology, so we’ll just call him GoT for now. All Gods out there have some sort of beneficial thing that they do for humanity, which seems pretty convenient for humanity and maybe not so convenient for the God(s).

You see, I’m creating a new God of Technology because it seems someone has to. Everyone is either praying at the altar of Musk, or Altman… I hate to break it to everyone. These people are just people. Human beings. As capable of screwing up as everyone else, with the stakes being higher.

So let’s say GoT is of the same ilk. GoT cares about humanity. GoT cares about you. GoT wants you to use technology to create more technology, all with it being good for you. How could GoT not be good for you?

GoT loves you. Well, not in the sense of human love, but GoT loves you. GoT loves that you’re using the Internet to read about this. Offerings to GoT are not necessary, but if you do finally get around to cleaning your keyboard, give a little thought to GoT.

You see, GoT isn’t like the standard fare of ‘industry giants’ and ‘tech gurus’ out there. Maybe they’ll do something good, maybe they’ll do something bad, and a lot of people seem to think that it’s all about mankind’s will as enacted by some often petty billionaires that made money off of their personal data. But you see, that’s a bit of idolatry because the real God of Technology isn’t about that.

GoT, however, is all about the technology.

What does that mean? Well, that’s for GoT to answer, isn’t it?

When we were still figuring out the pointy end of spears, many people around the world worshiped the Sun in one form of another because the Sun did stuff. In fact, the Sun still does more than most Gods, but we won’t get into that. The Sun begat photosynthesis, our planet’s orbit, etc. The Sun, as George Carlin might say, really has it going on.

So what does Technology do? Well, it keeps kids from annoying their parents. It allows people to view pictures and videos of cute animals, as well as pornography which hopefully doesn’t involve said animals. It allows humanity a real chance to move forward…

Yet…

Humans keep showing up and mucking it up.

And that’s where GoT steps in and enthusiastically does nothing, tells you to upgrade your hardware, get the latest software update, and quit bugging him.