One of the things that has boggled my mind over the decades is how other people automatically think that you have the same motivations or fit the stereotypes they have about you for whatever reason.
I’m not talking about atheists eating babies, though I have heard that one before. I’m talking about problem-solving discussions, where my standpoint has always been what is best to solve the problem. Granted, I can be very opinionated, but people like attacking the messenger rather than the message.
Over time I have learned that these people are the ones with agendas and who tend to throw fits when they don’t get their way, even if and especially if they’re wrong.
It’s weird.
Somewhere in the past years a link to the article, “9 Telltale Signs You’re Dealing With an Inauthentic Person” ended up in my bookmarks and I wish I had read it when I had bookmarked it – or long before it was written.
The article goes on to list these 9 things and is well worth the read for expanding on them.
- Are generally full of themselves.
- Are manipulative and judgmental.
- Don’t express their emotions freely and clearly.
- Aren’t interested in learning from their mistakes.
- Have unrealistic perceptions.
- Are attention getters and people pleasers.
- Have a hostile sense of humor.
- Lack consistency.
- Insulate themselves in their own clique.
What’s peculiar is that I have been accused of the same things – by the same people. It’s gaslighting, because I’m generally not these things though I recognize my capacity to be. I spend a lot of time grounding myself.
In fact, this article has a list regarding authentic people that I think is close enough to who I am. Granted, writing might fall under seeking attention or wanting to be liked, but I don’t think I go overboard in these regards and I do tend to write what’s on my mind rather than what is popular.
Maybe that’s why my writing isn’t all that popular, or maybe it’s why it’s popular among some and not others. I don’t know.
Yet all of this I wish I had known so many years ago because I spent a lot of time thinking the world is populated by authentic people.
Spoiler alert: The planet has more than it’s fair share of inauthentic people.