Changing Landscapes.

In my mind I’m often staring at the horizon on a quiet beach. I haven’t been to a beach in some time, something I always promise to address but never quite do.

You see, that silence on the beach really doesn’t exist but for a few moments, the early moments as the sun rises, as the birds awake. I miss the mornings at New Smyrna Beach for that, using the camera as an excuse for my presence. Fortunately, I have walked so many beaches at those hours that I don’t seem to need to actually go for the experience. I can, at whim, be at a beach in my mind.

It’s still not quite the same. Every sunrise is different, the flotsam on a quiet beach can be different. I remember the simple joy of looking at the trails the turtles left in laying their eggs, and on the walks back watching the volunteers put caution tape around where they had laid those eggs. People respected that on those beaches. People generally kept the beaches clean during the week because they respected the beach. The weekends saw the traffic from Orlando show up, which was a boon for the local businesses but it took a toll on the beach in the form of garbage despite there being garbage cans every 200 feet or so.

The people of New Smyrna Beach would quietly pick up pieces of trash they saw and stick them in the garbage cans. Occasionally, in groups sipping coffee on a bench, we might bitch about the people from Orlando who showed up and made a mess, but it was a balance for the local businesses so we put up with it. The local businesses often were informally involved with the cleanup.

What set New Smyrna Beach apart in this regard was the income level. At that beach, when you walked into a bar, you might be talking to the wealthy and not know it because they dressed very ordinarily, and they would laugh at people who brought their expensive cars to the beach because they themselves drove old cars, sometimes rusty from being at the beach. The community, as a whole, cared about the beach. I was told by one of the wealthy one day that the difference between New Smyrna Beach and Ormond Beach, where I worked at the time, was the difference between old money and new.

I don’t know. I did go to Ormond beach a few times, but not during the early hours – the best hours, the most quiet hours when you can hear the surf rearranging the sand in fits of violence followed by a gentle touch, putting everything fairly close to how it was. Every wave a revolution, every space between a consolidation.

No, I don’t have to go to the beach to see that anymore because when you see it you see it everywhere. What changes is the frequency, the level of violence and the consolidation needed after. The balance kept things the same, and it shifted too much toward the violence, erosion can be seen, and erosion on a beach is always considered a bad thing and yet it’s that very rhythmic violence that creates the beaches themselves.

What disturbs me in the world these days is that it seems we’re reshaping the landscape and we don’t really know what the hell we’re doing, from the planet to society to even our personal lives.

Beach Healing

Beach bandaidThroughout my life, I have been fortunate to have almost always been near a beach – where the water meets the land, where the wind blows across water and sand, where your toes are caressed by thousands of years of erosion.

So many people I know go there too late for my taste, when there are large crowds at the beach that clamor for attention. It was only in two places where I found like minds early in the morning – Hawai’i and, oddly enough, New Smyrna Beach, Florida. Oddly enough, they were decades older than I, finding peace from troubled lives with the casual everyday sunrise.

The light plays across the waves as the sun makes it’s way across the horizon; the refractive indices of the clouds casts different colors across the water, reflected, bouncing, even as some is blocked. Some silently cheer for the sun; I cheer for the clouds, the unspoken heroes of a sunrise that make it different every day.

I make time to change band-aids on my soul during troubling times and air out the wounds during the good times, knee-deep in water, physically feeling the ebb and flow of a universe that greets like a puppy, playful, and yet like the wolf, serious at a moment’s notice.

Deadly and playful, as the world is.

The Beach Flow

NSB Sunrise (09/03/2016)One of the things I loved about living in New Smyrna Beach (NSB) was watching the sun rise – but it was always more complicated than the sun simply rising.

Truly wonderful things have a depth to them.

Weather predictions were always laughed at in NSB. The ebb and flow of high and low pressure at the beach always made the weather questionable. The sun might rise and push back cloud cover that sat over land in the morning.

There are dark parts of our lives that we can’t change, that we can’t seem to affect – and people will come by when it’s pouring rain and tell you that your attitude is the problem when they’re standing under a brightly colored umbrella.

They might even call you less than pleasant things when your grounded wrath strikes like lightning, the boom of thunder announcing a less than pleasant feeling for someone between the wrath and whatever that they are tethered to that isn’t ground.

In the end, sometimes the sun simply needs to rise, heating the ocean, creating a high pressure over the water that drives toward the low pressure, pushing the clouds away. Sometimes it pushes the storm to you, the maelstrom of beautiful rage pressed upon the fleeting, the delible, and to greet that rage is also a powerful thing.

When it happens, the best way to experience it is with the feel of the water lapping your toes and the unsteady feel of drifting sand between your toes.

The water currents, the winds… the moon, the outflow of water from rains on the land…

It’s complex, yet all the moving parts of the experience are there to understand by simple observation.

To watch the sun rise is one thing. To watch how it changes the way you experience the world, to change your world in such a tactile way, starts the day properly.

To see it happen, to understand the complexity of the experience, to feel it all as it happens with that understanding…

Is something I miss.

Soon.

Precious Precarity


RealityFragments-Uncertainty
Nothing is ever truly complete because everything changes. While we’re not looking and still hold a snapshot of our former selves in our minds, we change – we’re almost never who we carry in our own mind.

We know this at the beach, when we stand and watch the sun rise at the intersection of boundaries of earth, sea and wind – and light. The sand shifts beneath our feet as the water laps at our toes, as we sink the wind blows through our hair. The light of the sun comes to our viewpoint through the globe prism of Earth’s atmosphere, cascading our eyes with a rainbow of reflected colors off of our surroundings.

We only see what isn’t absorbed, the colors we see the shadow of the visual spectrum that wasn’t.

Where the water line falls is determined by the tides, and the tides are combined effects of the gravitational forces exerted by the Moon and the Sun and the rotation of the Earth. And even as the Moon rotates around the Earth rotates around the Sun… our Sun hurtles toward Lambda Herculis at 20 km/s. 12 miles per second.

We’re dragging along with it with the rest of the Solar System even as Lambda Hercules itself rotates around the center of the galaxy that we, in the limitations of our languages, call “ours”.

As if happening to be in something gives one ownership. Think of that the next time you’re in a bad situation.

Most people don’t know all of this, and they don’t care. They just see the beauty of it – and they will talk about the beauty of a sunrise as if it’s a constant when it isn’t. It’s a precious precarity every morning of clouds, winds, dust and tides. It’s a cluster of precarity, a moving intersection in the Universe – however small those changes are.

And when I take a picture of all of this, people like that without knowing any of that.

It boggles me, like so many other things that people dismiss. The precious precarities that surround us, the wonderful beauty of improbability dancing through the Universe, ourselves looking in the mirror of our existence, wanting to be constant yet decidedly finite as we are.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rENyyRwxpHo]

The Tide

NSB Sunrise

The salt breeze beckons.
Standing on the edge, water
Laps at the feet, licks the legs
The toes sink with each wave,
Rooting, poised, still, ready
Anchored in the present,
Eyes to the future
The tide dragging it closer,
The past washes away.

Every morning.

The Reef

mrml! mrml!

Late at night I think of blue green water
Just beyond the breakers on a
White, sandy beach
With the taste of coconut water and
Saltwater mingled in my mouth
And the ripple of currents
Subtle and strong
That pull out away from land,
That pull away from the island
That pull away from the world
That let me sit outside
And look in
As though over the reef
On a glass bottom boat.