A Thousand Miles Away

I told you I loved you
In so many ways, and
You ignored each one.
Almost selectively you
Deflected my emotions
Leaving me vulnerable to
The ricochets
From my own heart…

I told you I was leaving
And you hid, I found you
That last night and
You cried I was
Leaving you all alone,
When you had left me
All alone
Every second I was there.

And now,
A thousand miles away
A year later
I still feel the ricochets
I still see your smile
I still miss you.
But I like you more
A thousand miles away…

written circa 2000.

And Where Are You Now?

Packing your things, taking
All that I had held dear,
You, only you –
Not the couch,
Not the broken bed
Not the dirty coffee maker
Not the plate we broke
The first time we kissed.
No, you, only you –
All I could see was
That sooner or later
We all learn to live
Alone.

You gave me that gift
At first I resisted, looking
For a rainbow at the edge
Of the thunderclouds…
Then I came to understand
I was alone before you
I was alone again
You were not
You never were
Where are you now?
Clinging to another heart
Using another body
You cannot exist alone.

Written in the 1980s.