The great Chimpanzee Civilization, which exists on another timeline in another universe somewhere, is an interesting place to explore.

They figured out how to cultivate their own bananas during the agricultural revolution, which was a pretty big deal. Soon there were different types of bananas, and soon the chimps figured out that bananas were power.

Of course, bananas never really existed until they cultivated them.

The civilization became based on the banana. This wasn’t enough, really, so what they did was created banana credits where chimps could have a stockpile of bananas for a rainy day – or pass them down to their next generation in their clan. Yes, I know what you’re thinking, but chimpanzees never got into that monogamy thing. It was always about their own little tribe. Passing property from generation to generation only really happened through the tribe, so it was in every tribe’s interest to work together within their tribe.

There was really no reason to create weapons technology, but it happened because of the monkeys that didn’t have the best physical attributes and needed to earn for the tribe. The bananas must flow, that sort of thing.

Things were going well til the great Chimpanzee Philosopher, “Ooh Ooh Ooh” began questioning what was so special about the bananas. Medical experts pointed out that a more balanced diet was needed.

The chimpanzees that made the most future bananas didn’t want things to change, so there were advertising campaigns about the benefits of bananas, that varied diets were ‘fake science’, and that it would be foolish not to want bananas because bananas are everything. Social status was the banana, after all, and no banana… well, you get nothing for no bananas. Look at how important these things are!

A few brave chimpanzees shrugged their shoulders, not understanding why everyone was so into these bananas, but…

Well. Bananas, you know?

You’d think when I’m imagining a different universe things would be different.

Leave a banana at the door if you will.